Usually I post my thoughts and feelings about Emmett on a separate blog that has become my journal. Tonight, however, I want to share my feelings with all of you.
One of my good friends from Bunko sent me this amazing blog www.agoodgrief.com. This blog has stories of people who have lost loved ones or those who are going through difficult trials.
Tonight I read a story and I felt as though it were my own words. The blog entry was titled "Untold stories." The girl was explaining how she was going to lunch with an old friend that had a daughter the same age as her little girl that had passed away. She was really nervous to see her friend, and was scared she would cry seeing her friend's little girl. Those of you who have lost a child will agree with me when I say that her friend did the most wonderful thing anyone could do. She asked her to tell a story about her little girl that had passed away.
Quoting from the blog entry, this mother wrote,
"I was breathless for a moment and then the floodgates opened. But simultaneously, I felt like I took a breath again, a real breath, for the first time since Lucy died... She was the only person to ever ask me that question. Two years later, she is still the only person that has ever asked me that question. “Tell me a story about Lucy…” And you know what? I don’t remember what story I told her. It was just such a relief to know that my daughter was not forgotten...Isn’t that what we do as parents? Tell the latest stories of our children? The hilarious things they say, the milestones they reach. They are part of our everyday evolving story and world. What hurts now is thinking of all the untold stories over the past two years that I cannot tell... I’m left with telling the same ones over and over again. And being asked to share them is like being told, “Your daughter’s life is still recognized, important, and special. She is not forgotten. Tell me all about her.” And that is what Karin did for me. She let me share a story of the past because I don’t have any of the present..."
Reading this was like an "Ah-hah" moment for me. For the first time I realized why I like to talk about what happened to Emmett so much. It is one of the only stories from his precious little life that I have to share. No wonder it means so much to me when I can share Emmett's story. No wonder it means so much to when people ask me how big my babies are and I can answer and tell them about ALL my kids not just the one's that I am lucky enough to have with me now. No wonder, talking about Emmett makes me feel better, even if I have to cry before I get there. How grateful I am for people like me who are willing to share their feelings in order to help others in the same situation. I have found so many wonderful people to share the joys and sorrows from Emmett's life with. Thank you so much to all of you who have allowed me to share my feelings and stories with you. I have grown so much closer to so many people that I love. Thank you so much.
A life not forgotten
EMMETT MICHAEL CEDERSTOM
December 4, 2009
6 lb 3 1/2 oz and 20 in
~He had long fingers and toes
~ His hair was lighter than the girls
~He was born at 36 1/2 weeks gestation
~He had elf ears just like his sisters
~ He looked just like my Elena Pearl's baby pictures
~His sisters love him and still ask about him to this day
~His daddy was soooo proud of him and loved him so much
~He Born into the Covenant and therefore eternally connected to his family
~Right before he died his father and Dr Leavitt gave him a blessing and reminded how much we love him.